How to Savor: From Conception to Cravings to Cuddles

On the path to parenthood and beyond, it's impossible to dodge the unsolicited guidance of the well-intended telling you to “slow down and savor!” I'm sure you're familiar with these interactions:

Reality: You're trying to conceive, but it's taking longer than you expected and you're beginning to worry.
Advice: Well savor all of the SLEEP and FREE TIME now, you'll never have it again!

Reality: You're pregnant and feeling less of the pregnancy glow and more supreme yuck.
Advice: Isn't being pregnant WONDERFUL? Enjoy every moment, it's a miracle!

Reality: You're sleep deprived, juggling a screaming newborn and can't remember the last time you washed your hair.
Advice: The days are LONG but the years are SHORT!

Some days, it’s easy to smile as you share the day’s highlights, reliving the joyous and special moments that you’ll remember for years to come. But what about the days where you feel if you slow down, you’ll sink? The days wrought with anxiety, nausea, exhaustion? Life has its fair shakes of ups and downs and the experience of TTC, pregnancy, and parenthood amplify both flips of the coin.  While savoring can enhance the enjoyment and appreciation of positive experiences leading to better physical and mental health, relationships, motivation, creativity (and much more!) it can backfire if we're forcing ourselves to savor when the time isn't right.

So, how do you identify the right time to slow down and savor beyond the adage when you know, you know? Lead savoring scientists Drs. Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff identified the ideal conditions that allow us to authentically savor.

By asking yourself the following questions, you can better measure your own capacity to slow down and savor in the way that aligns best with you.

Presence - Do I have the opportunity/resources to be comfortably fully present in this moment?
Appreciation - Do I have the resources to feel true gratitude in this moment?
Comparisons - Am I in the right mindset to amplify the good versus focusing mostly on the negative?
Self-Encouragement - Do I feel like savoring right now?

Let the questions above serve as your internal gut check to feel what's right for you.

If you answered no to the above, ask yourself if there is a natural time in your day where you’d check those boxes. I find that I have the most capacity and energy in the morning, so I pair savoring with my morning coffee – be it journaling good memories or sharing with my
partner the good things that happened the prior day. If you’re in a slump (it happens!), ask your partner about the moments that made their day special and indulge in that experience with them. Be careful, you might get a contact high!

If you answered yes to the questions above, you are in the green to savor! Find an activity that best allows you to be fully focused and indulgent in the positive experience. If retroactively savoring, look at photos or close your eyes and simply be with the memory of that event. Bonus points if you share that memory with someone (be it spouse, family, friend) – sharing positive experiences with others boosts not only our wellbeing but strengthens the quality of our
relationships. If you’re savoring real time, put away your phone and tune in completely to the positive experience of being you – being mindful of your own self, the environment around you, and any others you are with. Note the circumstances (time of day, post-workout, when the kids were out of the house, etc.) that fueled your capacity to focus on your wellbeing and make an effort to replicate in the future!

As with any well-being intervention, it is essential to meet yourself where you are and to give yourself permission to be human. Some days, that may fall in the shade of surviving rather than thriving. You know yourself best. Trust your gut and know that when you create space for you to be you, you’ll naturally create space to proactively rest before burn out and more moments in which you’re authentically savoring – making yesterday bright, and tomorrow brighter.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals before making any significant dietary changes or starting any supplements, especially during pregnancy and postpartum.

By Allie Dinesen, MHA, MAPP
OPTIMOM's Wellbeing Expert